Beneath The Grasp

Deep down in dark water
My body awaits
Another victim it gains
Amidst the depths of love

Into a breathless oblivion
An unconscious mind lures
The hand it was sent from
For the memories unwind

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Short Story “Dis-Belief in A Mirrored Eye”

I dropped the note. You picked it up. I asked you not to read it, yet you paid me no mind. As your eyes glanced the scribble upon the paper, I could only think about the possibilities of your own thoughts. The reaction upon your face told me everything I needed to know. I was going to wait until the time was just right. The perfect timing in this sense would be if I had the chance to construct an escape route to the outside hall and straight to the student parking lot where I parked my car this morning. I stood there in shock, just hoping that I was still dreaming in my desk at the back of the old, dusty history class. I pondered for the thirty seconds that seemed like thirty minutes on what actions I should take to somehow ease the embarrassment I unfortunately brought upon myself. It is too late to exit the classroom. Why would it matter anyways? My fellow students were more interested in my failing attempt than hearing about the Civil War for the third day of the week. All eyes were on me, so I had two choices to choose from. I could either rapidly leave the room and hear the laughs project through my eardrums, or find a way to possibly turn this around into an unforgettable moment. It was time to think. My tongue quickly found the words before I even processed what I was actually going to say. This is the collection of words that followed:

“Miss, you do not know me and it is fair to say I do not know you either. I want to apologize for the note. I did not plan for everything to transpire the way it just did before my eyes. Please do allow me to explain before you think I am a creep. My name is William. William Winslow. You do not recognize my face because I sit in the back as a lonely sailor out at sea. And the note, yes of course, let me clarify that just a bit. I want you to do me a favor and step out of your shoes into my point of view. I usually say no words at all, or even make eye contact to anything other than the green chalkboard that hangs upon the wall just behind Mr. Sterling when he is in complete focus, rambling on about historical gibberish most of us seem to lack the care for. It was not until today that everything changed. You walked in the class. It was clear that you were a new student, yet that was the least thing occupying my mind in that moment. I just saw beauty for what it was, and what it is not. I could not find the courage to speak the uttered thoughts that encased my mind. I could not fathom the pure idea that an angel had entered my presence. So I did what I had to do and wrote a note. I had planned on giving it to you at the end of class when I would be quickly moving through the aisle, and avoid the acknowledgment of the humiliating act I performed. It clearly did not play out in the way I desperately needed it to, but anyways here I am. Maybe it was destined for me to say it to you instead of hiding beneath a pen and paper. ‘I Love You’. Is that not what the note said?”

I left the room before she could say a word. For goodness sake, I did not even get her name. Everything had went to turmoil in hypothetically a blink of an eye, but really it was maybe 15 minutes or so. I walked to my car as quickly as possible, to flee the unforgettable moment that ended in despair. Just as I reached the door handle of my 1969 Ford Mustang, I heard the sweetest voice shout my name, “William.” I turned to face the individual who possessed such a beautiful echo. It was her. She ran towards me with eagerness just as I exhibited trying to leave the school. Before I could say a word, she asked me “Do you not care to know my name?” I simply grinned and set forth the question, “Sure, what is your name?” She replied by saying, “My name is Sarah. Sarah Carter.” So now that you have my name, let me tell you the words that were trapped in my mouth as you abruptly exited the room. The following collection of words is what proceeded:

“I am lost for words for I have never received a first impression of such altitude at any moment in my life. I was scared that it was maybe a prank or a joke that I was about to be a part of. But when I saw the look in your eyes, I could tell it was a feeling you had never come across. I wish that we could rewind time back to that moment, because I would have grasped your hand before you took off and not hesitated to tell you what I wanted to. On the other hand, I believe in second chances, that is why I seeked mine by chasing you. Listen, ‘I Love You Too.’ But may I ask why, or is that too much to ask?”

I stared. My mind was overwhelmed by the words that just rolled off the tip of her tongue. I was procrastinating, so I adjusted to appropriately address her question. Why? Is it not obvious. The way you looked at me spoke louder than words ever could. You read my soul before my heart could tell you it’s secrets. You already knew I was alone, and out of hope. You knew that I possessed only the truth in every word I stuttered. I was scared. You made me believe in an instance, something I did not have faith in my entire life. I never believed in “love at first sight.” On the contrary, I stand corrected as you have proven it to me. I hope I was helpful in answering the question you seeked, but I have a question for you. She replied, “Go ahead now, ask away.” As the rain started to pour down I had taken a deep breath of courage and asked, “May I kiss you?” She smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever laid eyes on and followed it with a giggle, then later with the words, “I thought you’d never ask.” I leaned in. My lips found hers. We kissed. Then we danced in the rain. Neither of us knowing what lied ahead, but it didn’t matter. The moment we lived in was one I wish I could relive every second of the day. Although, I do play it over and over again in my conscious, as if I had never left that moment in reality. Until tomorrow….

Serious Humor

Irony

Serious is humor

What a funny contradiction
A paradox in it’s own sense
To put you and I
In the same sentence

It is illogical
Enigmatically perpetual
To piece together
A puzzle that doesn’t fit

Consistently a lack thereof
A self contradiction
Evidence of tangibility
Yet only templates imagination

Humor is serious

Irony

Poem #1

“Captivity”

I am held captive
By the terrors I relive
The darkest of kinds
Dwelling in my mind

Sleep is unthinkable
For I just lay in the night
Tossing and turning
Sweating my memories

Flashing before my eyes
Reiterating the sounds
The pain and suffering
Of which no one hears

My smile is manipulative
Just a decoy for thine eyes
To distract and divert
As I hide behind this wall

This barrier of comfort
Encasing my soul
Reflecting the love
For my heart knows not

It is a foreign land
The secrets lie within
No words to be uttered
But silence bears no absence

Speaking loud in implicit intuition
Hiding beneath the fear
For it suppresses me
And I knowest not how to escape